DAY TWO: give a try to Runtastic

DAY TWO

The second day i start again to the bottom.

I dress myself with my all new stuff and go back to the park. I feel very confident on all the potential that i have in myself.

I start running. Slower.

Still after 50 yards i am as i was the day before: miserable. My heart is blaming all around trying to get out of its natural place.

I go back home very sad and I sit at my desktop with all my new dresses still on. I light up a cigarette and I look at the beautiful screensaver of my iMac with all that wonderful images about parks, mountains, rivers and green grass. 

For a while i am in absent of thinking, just looking at the pictures, like a stupid. In that moment i got an idea: i entered in the app store, looking for a running app. 

While I am cincionando through the various app, i find Runtastic and i decide to download it. Looking inside it i find out that there is a training course named “dimagrisci” (or get slim). I really appreciate the lack of an exclamation mark (you know, i’m a woman, I give huge attention to minor details). The cost is 20 euro but there are no more specifications.

I take time to think about it.

The app seems to be smart, much smarter then i am: it gives you informations about almost everything, the time, the space, the average speed, the calories. I hate they claim to misure the calories i should burn.

I do not want to go to run just for burn calories. 

I do not know why i want to go to run, actually.

My life is so miserable that i would need a huge numbers of miracles, not just going to run.

I postpone any decision and start to do some work to an horrible book someone wants me to edit. It’s a silly short novel about a butterfly but the author will pay me as soon as i delivery the job done.

As usual, i take time to think about reasons tomorrow.

DAY ONE: the starting

So, in order to start running I need to have dresses to. I went to Decathlon, the less price place where to buy some running stuff.

After some indecisions, i bought a pair of poco prezzo shoes, around 50 euros: i do not know if they are good enough but i know exactly how many money i have on my pocket so i thing they worths it. They are so beautiful, turquoise and fuchsia (not exactly elegant but they are running shoes). I found on sale a pair of shorts and a pair of socks (same price of the shorts). 

I slap them on the little blue cart and move on to the cardio-frequency shelf.

With just 30 euro more i buy one, not the more expensive but also not the more scrauso. I am happy, and happily i pay (with my credit card, so i have some time to find the money to pay the bill… maybe).

So today i dress myself with all this new staff. I look like a professional runner.

The day is warm and sunny. 

I happily go the park.

I start to run. My chest is open, my legs are moving fast, the trees are green and life seems a good thing.

After 50 yards, before to fall down like a dirty puddle, i hang on the first tree i see. My breath is grasping my lung starting from the very bottom of my inside. My eyes are not able to see anything else but the cortex of the tree, and i hug the truck searching for help.

After few seconds i am able again to think, and i ask myself what accidenti happen to me in the last few years, that i am not anymore able to run for a while without feeling the death so nearby me. My legs seem to be strong but the heartbeat has splashing up to 200 beats.

I do not believe to myself. I give a poke to the helpful tree and start walking, which seems to be a better idea than run. 

I walk for 40 minutes, thinking how miserable am i, that spent so much euro for running stuff and so much time to ride my life without any appreciable result.

I need to find a solution.

INTRO

Yes i’m Nina. I’m born in 1965, in Italy.

That’s the reason why i am the daughter of the Italian baby boom, of a generation of adult unprepared to handle the wellness and the youth, particularly ours. They were coming out of a war, you know, and poverty.

As many of you i grow up in the abundance of resources, into the idea of a perennial and infinite grow, between wealthy adolescent and class struggle. 

I got married during the first ’90 and came in USA as a young couple of high level education of the Italian middle class, and i roll over happily toward the family life. Yeah. then, i came back to Italy.

As many of you, later on, i got rebelled to my marriage and found myself fumbling in the global economical crisis where the intellectual working is considered zero, the wealth is something just for few, money do not goes around, the retail is a impossible myth; as many of you, i grope between men and woman of the Second Turn, children to grow up on my own (children always belong to mum), an idea of a television woman (slim, young, happy, always perfect) that do not match with the reality, a run run! of everybody to the remaining resources, a flee flee from the waste, a research of something that makes sense (economic, sentimental, ethic, moral sense).

Bridled at taxes, school, dresses, at intelligent shopping, at healthy diet, fuel and so on, i decided that, because i cannot do much, at least i can do less.

I am in need of movement and writing, living a life that goes out of my tiny horizon of the taft reality.

That’s why i started to run.

I decided to run for 105 sessions and i hope you would like to join me.